Throw It Out Thursday
Once a month we remind you to go ahead and throw out what’s not serving you anymore!
It has been a couple months since I posted a “Throw It Out Thursday” blog, so I thought it was not only well overdue, but perfect timing right before summer hits us, hard. So what are we throwing out? Old stories that don’t serve us anymore!
Have you ever had a day where everything just seems like it’s going back in time? The conversations your having make you feel like a gossipy girl in high school, or even worse, you feel like you’re in high school/middle school again! I felt this way back in 2014/2016/2018 (maybe I hit a two year cycle…) when I started acting like a teenager whose bad habits wouldn’t catch up to me, surrounding myself with toxic “friendships”, eating whatever whenever and hanging around people who let’s just say didn’t support me in not doing these things. I looked in my mirror and told myself, “you’re a grown woman, you own a business, why are you acting like a child” which seemed much harder to answer at the time than it does now.
The story I was telling myself, was an old one that hadn’t served me in a long time; that I needed external validation, that what other people thought of me was more important that what I thought of myself. When you ask a kid what they want to be when they grow up, their answers aren’t limited but limitless. I had limiting beliefs that weren’t mine, but were put in my mind by society, family, friends, TV I mean you name it and I was taking cues from it.
Write your own story, not the story of others
Looking back at these times in my life, I can see that I reached a point where I stopped believing in who I was and thought I needed that external validation or some one to tell me who I really am. This is not just unhealthy, but its disempowering, something I never want to be. I had to take a good hard look at myself and ask, truthfully, what is it that I love about myself, what strengths do I love and which tendencies do I not love? What are my core principles or core values that make the foundation of my life? How do I show up in my life for not just others, but for myself? A long time ago, I had been told who I was by so many people that I just started to believe what they told me and stopped believing in who I wanted to be, who I knew myself capable of being.
It was a lot of little “aha” moments, usually deep in prayer, that helped me uncover my true self and learn how to not be swayed by people in my environment telling me otherwise. That “story” I had told myself, that I was a fat/unattractive girl who only attracts a certain type not just what I was in to, that I wasn’t as talented as (fill in the blank) that I don’t take things seriously because I like to joke, this “story” wasn’t serving me anymore, it wasn’t fitting in my core values. Just like self-care, it is a daily reminder to be good to yourself, to love yourself and trust that you are a good person/friend. When you are told something over and over again that is not true, when someone projects their misconceptions on you, the hardest part is not bringing those words back up in your mind when you are all alone and believing them.
In skincare, we see a lot of stress related skin conditions, meaning that we are so stressed out that our skin is turning into a billboard for us saying “Whoa! Calm down already, you’re gonna make us sick!” To tell someone to just “calm down” is not going to solve their stressful lives. What stories are you telling yourself that cause you stress? Do you feel like you are not the perfect daughter/son/sister/wife/friend? And if so, why? Have you ever consciously told yourself at the end of your day, here are the things I did today for myself, this is what I did for others and show appreciation for your life? Something so simple, but so powerful in reminding us that we are good friends, we are a good sister/son/wife or whatever role you play. Be conscious of who you are , how you show up in your daily life and in your relationships. Is there something you’re telling yourself that stops you from being a better friend? Write them all down, put them on post-its, do whatever it is you need to do to be more aware of what is serving you and what is not, and be ok with letting go what is not serving you anymore.
I just finished listening to a *podcast (something I have never done) and it was from a female entrepreneur I follow on Instagram. At first I thought she would talk about style or being a business owner, but in fact the first episode I dropped in on was about anxiety. I discovered that I had been functioning (poorly) from a place of anxiety, of not being enough or doing enough, of missing out on everything because I chose the life of a business owner and don’t have evenings and weekends to play around. Basically beating myself up for FOMO. Just hearing someone whose going through something so similar let me know that it is ok to not do everything all the time, that I can make time for the things that matter in my life and time for business, without sacrificing my sanity. I had an “aha!” moment realizing that my real friends, people who are truly there for who you really are, aren’t mad at me for being busy. They are proud that their friend is doing what they are passionate about, and they show up for me and I am able to show up for them. They don’t tell me who I am, they remind me who they know me to be, and the only person we can be is ourselves.
So my advice for you this Throw It Out Thursday, take five minutes to write down every “story” in your brain, a brain-dump my Life Coach would say. Cross off those things that aren’t serving you, the ones that you’ve been told by_____ (fill in the blank) and write down concrete actions next to the ones that are your truth, who you know yourself to be and take that action in your life now on living that truth everyday! Read positive books! Watch happy TV shows! Listen to motivational speakers first thing in the morning! Meditate or pray more! Do things that bring you joy, that energizes you! Be good to yourself, be gentle with your growth and enjoy discovering yourself.
Till next time, be good to your skin and even better to yourself,
xx eri
*Podcast: “You’re Welcome” by Hilary Rushford