Throw It Out Thursday
Ok, how many times have you used this phrase to get out of quitting something that is either “too hard” or “not really a bad enough habit” to quit? We’ve all had or have habits or “traits”, which really aren’t traits or habits at all but means to hide how we really feel or what we are really thinking. Whatever your most annoying, challenging, and seemingly impossible to break habit is, let’s vow together that from this moment forward we are going to take measures to transform that bad habit into a source of growth!
Why do we find ourselves repeating things that don’t serve us or reflect the life we want to be leading? How often have you tried to quit? Let’s say for example, you struggle with unhealthy habits regarding food, drink or alcohol/smoking as these tend to be the ones people think of first. The root cause of why you do that might not be “because I like it”, trust me I have been there! For me, stress was a trigger that led to my bad habits, they made me feel better when the world didn’t. So finding motivation to quit has to come from a much stronger place than the triggers that draw you to the habit. I have known many, many smokers in my life and proud to say I have never gotten the appeal of cigarettes. With that said, here are some similarities that I have noticed in my friends: they like to go outside, they enjoy the social aspect of it, it calms them down, or it helps the morning “movement” if ya know what I mean…. The problem with all of those reasons is that this is probably the most unhealthy, life-threatening and potentially lethal way to address those issues. Can you think of 1 thing for each of those above reasons that isn’t smoking? Now think of those reasons you just listed, do they have a stronger appeal to you than your longterm smoking has? Probably not. So step one in finding the will to give up a bad habit is to have a strong motivation.
We can all agree that Michael Jordan is one person who doesn’t give up but keeps on growing! You are going to hit bumps along the road, and those are inevitable. Otherwise how would you have picked up the habit in the first place? One thing that won’t help you is beating yourself up for giving in to your habit and then saying “oh well, guess I’ll just keep on doing it as I can’t seem to quit”. Wrong! So wrong!! Explore why you failed this time? What was that trigger that pulled you in? Was there something else you could have done and how can you set yourself up for success next time this happens? Giving yourself some grace during this process but still holding yourself accountable allows you the room to practice your new quitting-muscles. Giving things up that aren’t helping you requires you to use different muscles than the ones you’ve been using this whole time. Mind strength. Pre-planning. Having honest dialogue with yourself about yourself. In “A Brief Guide to Quitting a Bad Habit” by Leo Babauta he says “We don’t think we can quit, so we don’t even try. Or if we do try, we give ourselves an ‘out’ and don’t fully commit ourselves. Let me tell you this: quitting a bad habit takes everything you’ve got.” Step two in quitting starts with possibly failing, but not giving up on your original vow to quit.
“A year from now you’ll wake up wishing you had started today”
I heard once that it takes 21 days to quit or create a bad habit. Unfortunately, I have never actually tested this so I can’t tell you if it’s true or not, but I can tell you it definitely takes time.
Growing up, we didn’t know that my body had started not being able to digest gluten. I went 22 years not knowing this and when I found out, the harsh reality that I had to stop eating all the things I knew and loved eating. Back then, there wasn’t a huge “gluten free” market so finding food or even knowing what the heck gluten was. Needless to say it was a battle. So I did what I knew, it wasn’t in fruits, vegetables or meat so I ate only those.
I lived in a studio in the middle of the downtown area and there were fabulous farmer’s markets every week. I started making it a weekly goal to make it to the farmer’s market and load up on fruits and veggies, then I would head to the supermarket and pick up meat. That was my life for about 6 months, and I never felt better. What got me to stop doing what I had done my whole life, and not slipping into a gluten filled binge night, was a stronger motivation than the taste of that food. I was sick. I was unhealthy and I was starting to notice symptoms getting worse. My health mattered more to me and I supported that by finding fun way to implement my new lifestyle.
You’re not going to change something huge and lifelong overnight. This took years for me to get a strictly gluten free, and a proper diet at that, as meats and veggies was surprisingly not the best idea. Finding a way to enjoy supporting your “new habit” will help to make this journey more doable. Giving yourself time to work through the why’s, the triggers, the fails and the successes as it took you how long to have that habit in your life?
The last step in the journey to quitting bad habits you might have already done. Write it down. Put it in words what you do, or say or act that is a bad habit you no longer need or want. Write down what matters more to you than that habit, why should you stick to your decision to let it go? Lastly, write down a couple of things you enjoy to do that support your motivation to quit. Game plan with yourself and maybe have an accountability partner along the way! There is no better feeling than supporting each other in healthier and happier lives!
Till next time, be good to your skin and even better to yourself,
xx eri