Throw It Out Thursday
There is a trend during the beginning of the year to make resolutions and set goals, loose weight, drink less and be a better human. Unfortunately, most of those goals don’t last past January which ends up leaving one feeling like a failure face. So what if we just threw out the goals that we really don’t want to accomplish and instead determine to make lifestyle changes that we will want to keep doing? Good news, that’s exactly what we are throwing out and getting into today!
To clarify, we are not throwing out goals all together! What is important is setting a tone and a rhythm for your year based on what you want to get out of it. If your intention this year is balance, having a list of 10-15 goals really doesn’t seem to have the intention of “balance” behind it. Maybe you just focus on 3-5 things that help you feel more balanced and that hit other areas of your life. For example, one goal might be eating healthier so the action step is to either meal prep for the week on Sunday or pack lunches the night before work so you are making better food options and find more balance in your life.
A concept I have heard several times before that really helps me make heads or tails of my goals list are SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Bound. Whatever it is that you want out of this year, attach it to this concept and put it into action!
BE SPECIFIC! Really name your goal, for example this year I want to get a handle on my exercise and diet, mainly consistency. My first goal towards Being Healthy in 2020 is I will take two workout classes a week and when I cannot take a class I will do at least one or two 10-minute videos. That is specific enough for me (I have to go to 2 classes) and it’s flexible enough so if I don’t make it to class there is still an option for me (workout at home) and I won’t be begrudging myself for not going. When you are specific, it is clear where your energy needs to be going.
MAKE IT MEASURABLE! When you make something measurable, it makes it tangible and gives you a level of accountability to your goal. You can also use this in different ways like “I will walk one mile in X amount of time by the end of this month”. That way you have a number to reach for and a length of time to hold yourself to it. A measurable goal for me is that I will fit into my slightly smaller pants by next month (not my “skinny pants” might I add, that’s for like the end of the year), and crop tops by summer. That way I will know how far I have come and yet how far I have left to go without feeling like I am not getting anywhere.
HAVE ATTAINABLE GOALS! This one is tricky because we can want to challenge ourselves but what if the challenge we set before ourselves is one we wouldn’t meet no matter how much time we had? For example, when I set my Being Healthy in 2020 goal this year, I didn’t tell myself “you’re gonna loose 30 lbs by March!” because A. I don’t own a scale and will never so how would I really know what I weigh and B. I know myself, and that is not a reasonable goal for me, I’d rather be happy in my skin no matter the size. Making a goal attainable gives it a level of excitement because you know you’re going to do it!
BE REALISTIC! This is hand-in-hand with attainable goals for me. Coming up with what you want your year to look like instead of characteristics of yourself you want improved might be another way to look at this. What was last year like for you? What did you like/enjoy? What could you have done without? What could you have done with more of? I have this journal for the next six months and one of the first prompts it asks of me is to go through my photos from last year and write down what I did month by month. What I discovered is that my level of personal activity paralleled my personal meditation and that when I slipped out of my twice-a-day meditation practice to just once, and sometimes an after-thought, I did less in my personal life and hibernated more. So my realistic goal isn’t to see everyone every month this year, but to be consistent with my Buddhist practice and mindfulness, which will lead to a more productive life overall.
Make It Time-Bound! If you give yourself the whole year to loose weight (my goal) then what’s the rush? This is the place to make goals a reality! Like deadlines at work, you hustle when you know the countdown is ticking so do the same for yourself. You already have specific, measurable, attainable and realistic goals laid out before you, now just give them deadlines or milestones to hit. Then, at the end of this year, you can look through all your photos and see what a productive and amazing year you had!
“The meaning of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” The key words are “firm decision”. If you make a firm decision about something then you must also take action and set a deadline, in other words, set a goal!”
It is one thing to say you want to do something, it is a whole other thing to actually make it happen. What if you flipped the idea of goal setting around and made it an action plan? When we make goal lists, rarely do they sound like actions: I want to loose weight, I want to be a better friend, I want to eat better. All these things share are hopes and wishes, without a firm determination to make it happen.
So throw that old thinking out and instead take action towards what you want to happen! No Olympic Athlete gets a gold medal for their first time ever trying something. You have to make consistent effort toward your end goal, never loosing sight of it but also not ballooning it out into something intangible. Like learning to ride a bike, you wouldn’t start on a fixed-gear bike with no brakes, so take steps towards it with some training wheels first and be proud of yourself for doing that!
As Catherine Pulsifer said once, “Why do New Years Resolutions fail? Mainly, because they are only a statement, or what we wish for in the coming year. There are usually no action plans, no deadlines, no backup plans. Sometimes they are unrealistic resolutions, with no other thought or plans beside the statement” Take action! Be bold! Enjoy the process of further becoming more of the awesome person that you are!
You’ve heard it before, New Year Resolutions fail. Why? Usually because we give up, forget about them or don’t have any concrete way to bring them to fruition. So throw out that old thinking of “Resolutions” and instead think of them as “healthy habits to become addicted to”, sounds a little more risky and exciting that way!
Let’s say you want to eat better, pretty common goal. So what’s the new habit you are going to create? It might be turning Sunday nights into meal prep nights with the family, get everyone involved! Or maybe it’s falling in love with veggies and fruit and cutting out carbs. A spiralizer for your zucchini noodle obsession can help make it more fun and save you money!
When you make lifestyle changes, you realize what wasn’t serving you and potentially dragging down your awesomeness. I grew up as the chunky girl, and I let this dictate my life until one day I was like you know what, I like working out but not running so why don’t I just stay active with what I love and not what I am told I need to be doing. That shift in mindset has led me to a healthier body and a career in Pilates, a dream I had since age 16. Now-a-days I couldn’t imagine life without my Yoga Studios and Spin Classes and it doesn’t seem as daunting. Granted I still can’t really stand up on my stationary bike in class, but that’s my “scary, yet exciting” future goal.
Hopefully, by now you are starting to get excited for what you are going to make of your year. You aren’t overcome with fear when someone asks you if you made any goals this year, you won’t cry when you look at that one thing that has been bugging you for years (the messy closet, those extra pounds) and instead see everything as an opportunity to further your badass self. Throw out those dang New Years Resolutions and instead live this year taking action on what matters to you because dang it you are worth it!
Happy New Year Y’all!
Till next time, be good to your skin and even better to yourself,
xx eri